Illustrated Stories from the Bible

Hilarious drawings of not so kid friendly stories from the bible

God kills 40 children by mauling them to death with bears

An adult parody of children's Bible-story books. Because it is extremely accurate -- even anatomically accurate -- in depicting the often shocking tales that make the bible an ethicist's nightmare

if she touches your dick, cut off her hand

Illustrated Stories From The Bible can be recommended for children no more than one could recommend the Bible itself. Each tale (illustrated by cartoonist Kathy Demchuck) is told in the wide-eyed, isn't-God-wonderful manner of the books usually employed to entice children into churches.

Its OK to make slaves of your neighbors

Each story is followed, however, by a rationalist's ethical critique that draws upon the best modern scholarship concerning the Bible.

Fuck this tree in particular

Stories include: Elisha and the Bears; Jephtha's Daughter; Little Gershom's Penis; Uriah the Hittite; David's Census; Moses Helps God Understand; Slaughter Of the Midianites; Famine In Samaria; Where Giants Came From; Wives For the Benjamites; and When Jesus Drowned the Pigs.

Available on Amazon